Inside the mind of a female Bartender…
10 things she wants you to know.
10. A dollar doesn't cut it. If you don't have enough money to cover the bar PLUS tip - don't go out. The minimum tip for a single drink is $2. That's right, I said it. One drink = a $2 tip. For every drink thereafter, up the tip by $1. Bartenders are paid way less than minimum wage. Usually somewhere around $4.50/hour. The rest of their salary is made in tips. If you're going out, you are expected to pay for the drink AND the service.
9. A smile and a laugh doesn't mean she's into you. It means she wants you to tip her - well! If you really do want to impress her, drop her a lovely tip ($20+). The next time you come in, her smile will be genuine. The worst way to be remembered is if you chat her ear off the whole time you're there and you leave her a cheap tip. Trust me - she won't forget.
8. Timing is everything. If you see the bartender is busy and she's not paying much attention to any one individual cause she's hard at work, do NOT take that as an opportunity to "stand out" by flirting with her in the moment or playing games while ordering or paying. Have your money out and know what you'd like to order. Anything other than that is just plain annoying to her. If you see her being tipped with a lot of singles, throw in a 5 dollar bill (or more) to get her attention. Stand out with the TIP and come back later, when she's not as busy, to introduce yourself.
7. Do NOT ask for her number at the bar - more often than not, the answer will be "no". The bartender is often times the center of attention at a bar. If your eye is on her, chances are there are a lot of other's eyes on her as well. The last thing she needs is for another guy to see she's giving out her number, especially if she's already turned him down. It puts her in a very uncomfortable spot. If you'd like her to have your number, slide her your card - without pressuring her to use it. If she's really that into you, she'll either call you, or find a more discrete way to pass her number along to you. You aren't the first to hit on her and you won't be the last - don't take it personal if she doesn't call. You might have to keep patronizing her bar for her to get to know you better.
6. A bartender, or even a server for that matter, is not synonymous with the word SERVANT. You aren't a servant when you go to your job and neither are they. Just because their place of work is a restaurant or bar, doesn't warrant the snapping of fingers, a nasty attitude, or a lack of courtesy. Remember that they serve you the food and drink you put in your mouth. How you treat them will equal how they treat you and your what you're consuming!
5. The bartender is not the Boss. Realize that the bartender doesn't set the price of the drink so complaining or arguing about it is not only futile, but annoying and a waste of her time. If you're that upset about it see a manager, or better yet, go to a liquor store, buy a bottle and make your own drinks. Expensive drinks aren't the bartenders fault so if you don't tip because of it, you're just being a jerk.
4. Respect the hustle. This one goes for the ladies as well and maybe even especially. You already learned that the bulk of her pay comes from tips. The space of her bar is her sole source of income for the night. If you need to chat with your homegirl/boy, buy drinks for the duration. Taking up seats at the bar for 2 or 3 hours while nursing one drink the entire time is like robbing her of the money she could be making by people who would actually like to purchase rounds - plural!
3. No means no. Yes, lots of bartenders like to drink and some also like to go drinking after their shift but if she turns you down to go out - DO NOT wait for her inside OR outside her place of work thinking you'll change her mind. That's just plain creepy.
2. Have a heart. Bartender's shifts are LONG and can range from 5 hours to 12 hours. If you think its easy, try standing on your feet for those amount of hours - straight - without sitting once. Its excruciating on her legs and feet. If the place is closing down, unless you already have a good rapport or are an outstanding tipper, and you are the last party there, have a heart and close your tab at the least - that means that you sign your credit card receipt with tip and all! A bartender still has a lot of work to do to close down the bar. If she doesn't have all the tabs closed out, she can't begin the process. If its the end of the night and she's standing there just staring at you, its time to close out. There's plenty of late night spots that are still serving liquor - I'm sure the bartender will volunteer suggestions.
1. She's therapeutic but don't confuse her for your therapist. Bars are where people go to have fun or to "escape" their problems. As good as it may be to hear what she has to say or to just vent to someone who has nothing to do with what you are going through, using alcohol to numb your pain will not make it go away. We love your company but we'd love it more if you would take a big step to help yourself. If you or someone you know has a drinking problem, call for help, 1-877-474-6570.
